Last night, I sat down with my wife and was completely transparent about what happened in Denver last week... and on my last trip as well. She knew that Amanda had gone home to be with her mom, but didn't know the extent of it. So, I just put all the cards on the table, including the shopping, the makeovers, the outings to Crown, and yes, even my own feelings about blending rather than passing.
I think what helped her most of all, however, was my admission that despite being able to present as Amanda in the safety of mom's home whenever and however I wished, I found that I didn't need to do it 24 hours a day. This was somewhat of a relief to me, as well, confirming my suspicions that I likely won't need to transition to feel fulfilled, and that I'm likely to be quite happy if I'm able to express this part of me intermittently.
She cried, of course. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to hear that the man she loves also wants to express himself (herself?) this way too. But she confirmed her love for me, her hope that we can make things work for the best, and her desire to work towards a happy future. Together.
Thanks again for your continued support, dear readers!
Kisses,
Amanda
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