'The Triumphs of an Impudent Moose'
She was tall like all of her kind and inspired the same awe
In those human creatures, as they all did.
Even so, she was hardly elegant.
She had a humped back from immense shoulder muscles,
Thin legs, longer in the front, carried a substantial body and a short tail
That followed her wherever she went.
Her ears were wondrous and large and could rotate toward any sound.
Her long snout was finished by a dangling dewlap some wit called a bell.
Despite looking all awkwardness, she could move with grace and style
With a tireless trot or in bursts of surprising speed.
Like all moose, she had poor eyes and some say that's a good thing
That moose can't see what they look like.
Now, “Moose” is as plural as it gets.
No one calls them meese or mooses unless they just aren't from here.
She knew the Algonquin people called her kind, "moz" for “twig eater”,
"True, but I am more than that. I am me." she thought to herself.
She didn't like being called "the largest ungulate", either,
Because that sounded silly.
Moose must eat all day to fill that marvellous frame
And then rest and chew food once again from one of four stomachs.
A moose is meant to live a peaceful, herbivore existence,
But she longed for just a bit more.
She did like being a moose.
She liked being big and fast and strong
And able to kick in any direction with those wide front hooves of hers.
Bears, wolves and even cougars were as wary of her
As she was of them.
She loved the cold because the hollow hairs of her rough coat
Helped to insulate her from winter's worst.
Even better, those hollow hairs even helped keep her warm and buoyant
As she dived underwater in cold summer lakes for tender aquatic vegetation,
Especially her favoured water lilies.
She loved to swim and dive and practice holding her breath,
To the delight of inquisitive and mischievous young otters.
She could hold her breath longer and dive deeper than any other moose,
But they just thought she ought to spend more time eating.
Four stomachs don't fill themselves!
A moose doesn’t sweat, so she liked the cool of the day at sunrise and sunset
To set out and explore her moose world.
She would find new grazing areas to expand the varieties of plants to eat
And was careful to discover mineral slicks full of nutrients
Around muskeg or mud before any other moose muzzle did.
Occasionally, ravens would ride her great back,
Their antics and vocalizations a welcome diversion.
She was careful not to startle smaller creatures like deer
Or rabbits and carefully watched birds
Who would warn forest creatures of danger.
Occasionally, some camouflage clad humans would invade her moose world.
She knew to stay well behind them or avoid these ones that tried too hard
Not to be seen or heard and carried sticks to point at animals.
Sometimes, she heard a loud sound like sudden thunder
And an animal would fall, broken, and unable to get up,
Or worse, be broken and stumble away to die later.
Those were fearful days.
Sometimes, other humans would pass through moose terrain
In twos or threes or more, looking about them with great enjoyment,
Careful not to disturb the forest.
She enjoyed getting up to them as close and silent as she could
Without them noticing and then just as silently, step away daintily.
One day, in the cool of autumn, she hid behind some helpful pines
And watched a lone human intent upon a massive bull moose atop a hill,
His antlers great and wondrous like tree branches crowning his regal head,
Proudly assessing his domain as much as his moose eyes would allow.
He would occasionally swipe some moose delicacies from nearby branches, Closing his weak eyes in gratification.
He was fearless and in his prime,
And insisted he was much admired by many cow moose
And what all bull moose should long to be.
The human watched enraptured, his colossal camera
Readied for action, if he could just get -
Closer,
Closer,
Closer...
This was a different sort of hunter.
She watched the man put each footfall down carefully,
One step,
Two steps
And then SNAP!
A dry twig loudly proclaimed his presence.
First, the large ears pivoted and then the
Great head with its vast glory of antlers
Swayed in the direction of the betraying noise.
The man froze but the bull moose assuredly did not!
The great moose snorted grandly and began a furious rush downhill,
Straight towards the hapless figure who strangely
Began snapping pictures in fright,
As if snapping pictures whilst backing up furiously
Could slow the imminent impact
With the wide, magnificent antlers.
This was her moment!
She charged from behind the concealing pines
And swept decisively across the path of the oncoming massive ungulate,
Smelling lovely and elegant and all female,
And into the adjoining brush and on.
The human fell backwards in a fearful pile,
Picture taking instincts finally halted;
Whilst the malevolent, looming bull slid to a scrambling halt,
Human target forgotten.
The splendid head and its antler collection
Pivoting sharply with all purpose and pride,
Male moose olfactory senses overtaken and overjoyed at the nearness
Of the cow moose that he now dashed after,
And into the adjoining brush and on.
The human stood up slowly and shaken,
Unsure whether his recent mishap was quite real,
Adorned by twigs and dirt and leaves
Acquired by his backwards tumble.
"Well," he told himself, "the pictures won't lie."
He checked each frame carefully.
One was a picture of the sky.
Another was of terrifying oncoming moose hooves.
Yet another picture was a blur of dirt and leaves.
There was another picture of the sky.
He had a section of a terrible antler.
Another shot revealed one enraged eye of the forthcoming bull.
He had two pictures of trees,
Sky again.
He couldn't believe it.
The only complete picture he had was the cow moose
Sticking her tongue out at him as she raced past.
He shook his head in surprise,
"Has my life just been saved by an impudent moose?"
©C.Hill 2021
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A contact challenged me to post another photo of the moose that I claimed, in an earlier posting, to have been quite close to ... by special request ... irreverence in nature!
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