Hello
Since October I've had very little opportunity to indulge in any transvestite activities whatsoever. By this I don't mean those rare and wonderful moments when I do actively engage in dressing up as a woman but I have not even had much opportunity to go on line and discuss the topic on forums or browse the pictures of other cross-dressers (an activity I always find positive and inspiring).
I am very keen to dress as a woman but as usual I have no opportunity to do so. I found I had a few hours alone today whilst monitoring a job that requires periodic attention and have at last managed to get on line for some Helene time. As a result I cannot resist the indulgence to post another video I made in October as Helene.
I am aware my pictures and videos are barely looked at with very low viewing numbers but I never really expect anyone to look at them anyway. I've always felt the reward was the sheer daring of actually posting a picture or video on a public forum such as Flickr or You Tube. I acknowledge the content of my images and videos is highly personal and offers no insight or interest to other transvestites but as a transvestite who so rarely gets to cross-dress the outlet is important to me personally.
If by chance you are actually reading this then the point I am trying to make is do not be concerned with being popular and avoid the expectation of high views or comments. If you do receive them then that is undeniably nice and a bit of a thrill but I know my pictures and videos are not very good so I never expect others to look at them. As I say the main thing is the personal reward of actually posting publicly. Don't feel disappointment if no-one looks. To have had the nerve and courage to post publicly is, I find, reward enough and brings a sense of achievement and satisfaction.
There are certain T-girls on Flickr and You Tube who always attract a lot of attention and I know some feel disappointed their own pictures do not achieve the same response. This is not something one should feel low about. It's just how it is in all social groups, not everyone is popular and there are always those who are. One should enjoy their own indulgence in cross-dressing and gain from the excitement and contentment it can bring. Posting the picture publicly is a memento to oneself and that I find is truly rewarding. Any views or comments are nice bonus but not something one should place to much emphasis upon.
I acknowledge some transvestites do desire a lot of attention and compliments but that's human and to be expected. Not all of us can look great as women despite our inner desire to look feminine when we cross-dress, we can only try our best and enjoy the experiences. The popular transvestites who do attract attention I personally find to be inspiring in making me try harder in my own meager efforts to look like a woman. They do actually push me to more self reward so I'm pleased they post their pictures.
I am trying to stress that self contentment is more important than popularity. The popular T-girls are fortunate as they physically can look female. As we are men it is difficult for us to look female but the achievements of those who are rightly popular with browsers can aid us to get the most from our own efforts by inspiring and firing our enthusiasm. It's all about enjoying yourself and pushing your boundaries. Flickr has at times been inspiring to me and always gives me renewed enthusiasm to try and improve in my own cross-dressing efforts. We can't all be popular and acknowledging this will lead to more reward and contentment.
Have a great 2012 - Helene x
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