In the beginning, there was the sun, the moon, the planets, and the stars...of course, there was God too..let's not forget about God. Anyhow. God grew bored really quickly and had to create things like molecules colliding. Well, if you believe that big book The Bible, things happened rather quickly. The scientific truth however, is that evolution occurred over time of course...let's speed this up, though, because no one wants to read about what I learned from the Primate Anatomy/Anthropology course I took in college. For the sake of this discussion, a "day" will have to be considered like 25,000 years.
Anyhow, starting over, in the beginning, there was a very un-amused God who wanted more than just angels around him so each day he created something new. He created Earth and trees, animals. Of course, he also created a couple of humans to really make history interesting. Still, God just wasn't satisfied even with his perfect garden because, let's face it, God is sort of difficult sometimes. He gathered the angels around him. He had done everything so fast, really, and it had been about a week so he had to rest and have a meeting anyways.
"I just can't figure it out" God said. "A few days have gone by and I just feel like something is really missing here. I have created so many wonderful things but there's a big gap that I feel with every fiber of my invincible being."
One angel, a smart one, raised her hand. "God," she said, "I think you forgot about psychedelic music."
"Oh yes, I must have forgotten about psychedelic music. That's right. A world without that is just not worth living in, is it?" Then, God gave Eve a guitar and was about to create an amp out of divine musical twigs for Adam when that snake came and ruined everything, setting the world back by a few more centuries. We're lucky though, because we're in the more interesting part of history where there's so many great psychedelic bands to listen to. This, here is Anita Robinson. Just consider her your postmodern Eve.
P.S. If you're wondering where soft rock came from, that was the Devil's creation.
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