Over the next few days, I hope to post a few thoughts about my recent trip to Denver, along with some accompanying photos. This will be installment #1.
As I've already written, the experience of being Amanda with my mom was spectacular. From the very first moment when she saw her (second) daughter to the last minutes we spent together as mother and son, she was everything a parent should be: loving, accepting, supportive. Her reaction at seeing Amanda initially was wonderful, as well - though I suspect any mother's reaction would be. She admitted to me that before we met, she had wondered what I'd look like in person (despite seeing my photos), and worried about "faking" the "right" reaction so as not to make me feel bad... but I sincerely feel that her genuine reaction was one of pleased astonishment at Amanda's appearance.
The the rest of the time I spent there, we talked like girlfriends, crying about the past, laughing about the present, and dreaming for the future. We played dress up, we practiced makeup (especially after my makeover with Chris), we shared clothes, and we perused my grandmother's jewelry collection. But most importantly, we just enjoyed each other's company, finally having all the old barriers pulled down between child and parent.
And being allowed to flow between genders was another magnificent step towards Amanda's progress as a person.** Though I spent the majority of my time as a complete Amanda (makeup, nails, foundation garments, dresses), I spent mornings as an androgynous slacker in a cami and tap pant set, undone hair, poorly removed makeup from the night before, and nails barely attached... and yes, I realize I've ruined your image of me! ("TMI, Amanda. TMI!") Mom and her son even spent some valuable time together, as well - and she was equally amazing at addressing me appropriately based on my gender presentation. Have I mentioned how ridiculously lucky I am?!
In short, my mom is amazing. My time with her as Amanda was amazing. And I wish everyone could experience such magic with their loved ones.
All my best, dear readers. More to follow in the days to come!
Kisses,
Amanda Nicole
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** And as one of my dearest friends said (you know who you are!): "Being gender fluid" is the same as "being yourself."
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