...are a few of the adjectives to describe my state of being since my first public outing in my hometown during my first actual meeting with other transwomen. First, my apologies for the long delay in writing anything about the experience; it's been a hectic two weeks, for many reasons.
The outing was, simply put, marvelous. Meeting Kim, Tracy, Gina and Melissa - the first transfolk I'd ever interacted with in person - was beyond any expectations I'd ever had, and I'd have been hard-pressed to assemble a better crew to introduce me to my hometown as Amanda. They were warm, engaging, accepting, funny, encouraging, nurturing, smart and fun. But most of all, they just made me feel normal. Finally.
And here's another interesting thing that happened while I was getting ready with Kim, and going out: I had worried for many years that I'd be constantly worried about my appearance or mannerisms or voice (etc., ad nauseum) while I was out and about. To the contrary, I was comfortable and content to just be me. Later, after looking at the photos we'd snapped, I realized that I was definitely not on my "A game" appearance-wise that evening... but it only bothered me (and very little, to be honest) in retrospect. During the outing, I felt nothing but relaxed and... well, natural. Were there some odd looks from time to time? Sure. But I didn't care, and in fact, found myself smiling to myself as I considered what others might be thinking... and realizing that I didn't really care.
So here's to being no longer confined...
... by my fears.
... to my home.
... to our society's binary gender construct.
Thank you to my wonderful friends for an amazing evening. And thank you, dear readers, for coming along with me on my adventures!
Kisses,
Amanda Nicole
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