Thailand - Land of Scares: When i noticed i had lost the motorbike key , that was enough of a shock. But soon I was shocked even more - the rented motorcycle itself dematerialized, too.
Heck, I had danced away in that huge disco on the edge of town called "Only One" or something. Had a nice flirt with a waitress from Nakhon Sri Thammarat (should I venture down south next week?). Then what I thought was a lady volley ball team in trainings suites had invited me to their table and to some whiskey; turned out they all worked in the same furniture superstore near Tesco Lotus and showed up in sales outfit (should I venture for some bathroom mirrors next day?).
Okay, 2 a.m., glaring lights are turned on. I smile goodbye to Miss Thammarat and to the furniture team, dig myself through the congested exit fingering for the key in my pocket - but no key! Shock!
Maybe the key fell out somewhere in that dance hangar?!? I dart back to the entrance. There I see Miss Thammarat again, in line with 20 other waitresses, waiing the customers home. I tell her my key is lost and she wants to go back with me for searching. But first we have to fight our way through some drunken men who are still dancing like dervishs right in the entrance. They grab my arm - "Hello mister, you happy-happy". Oh, delightful Isaan, please, not now, Farang mai happy, Farang scared, I shake them off in a rude and un-Thai way.
Back in the emptying dance hangar, sweet Miss Thammarat and I dive for moto-sai keys under the tables. You can find anything there, just no keys.
Then I have another idea: Maybe I forgot the key in the machine? This happens to me all the time, actually. In peaceful Isaan, so far it had never been a problem. Whether stopping at a 7-11, a bank, a restaurant, a pagoda or just somewhere in the outbacks for a bit of lotus pond clicking - whenever I returned, there was my Honda with keys, luggage and all.
But Ubon Ratchathani is a big town, and it is definitely unwise to leave moto-sai with keys in front of a most popular disco in the night. "Maybe key in moto-sai", I explain to Miss Thammarat from under the table and dart off one more time, this time out again, back to the parking lot.
And then - moto-sai is gone. Really: gone. Now I am in deep trouble. Not that I gave my passport to the rental company, and the deposit had not been too hefty (the Honda being not too impressive either). But they had asked for the business card of my hotel, and they have a passport copy. What am I going to do with a stolen rented Honda while the key did a runner simultanously? All kinds of unethical and illegal ideas strike me as I stand there empty-handed in the night on that parking lot. I ponder the many unpleasant things that will happen in the consequence of that motorbike theft, while around me elated happy Thais set off for more action somewhere else in Ubon Ra'. I stay behind alone.
At first I don't even notice the tiny Thai man that's patiently standing in front of me. When he manages to enter my advertence, I am definitely not in for the usual "Whereyoufrom" spiel. Please, chok-dii khrap now, no talk, I don't feel interactive...
Then I see a motorbike key dangling from his fingers! "Moto-sai over there", he goes! I grab him by the arm and drag him to that bike.
It's my bike! Everything ok!
He seems to be some kind of caretaker. He has found the key and moved my bike 20 meters to create more space for other customers. Funny that he remembers me as the owner - I definitely did not see him when I arrived. And yes, obviously I had left the key in the bike, and he had kept it for me. My vacation has a future again: I don't have to become unethical, I can stay in Thailand. Life can be great.
The dervish dancers from the entrance walk by, still high on emotions. Now I feel more Thai friendly again. I flash a big and relieved smile - yes, now mister Farang happy-happy maak-maak.
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