Fort Belan lies low at the end of a long peninsula that extends down past Caernarfon airport. If the heavily potholed road doesn't put you off, the road that approaches the fort is covered by sea twice a day. But arrive and you find a fabulous little fort with walls within walls, ramparts bristling with cannons, moats, a lovely little harbour and a pretty little courtyard. There are fabulous views all around, across to Llanddwyn and the mountains of Snowdonia.

The website says it is open every day, but I suspect that means it is open for residents of the holiday cottages, as the 40 acres around the fort are privately owned. I had hoped to pop in for a cream tea with the wife but a 5.30am start from home prompted her to stay in bed instead, and besides the owner asked me not to venture into the courtyard as they had guests. But the most spectacular view of the fort must be from above to fully appreciate the fortifications. Anyone got a drone?

But there are events at the fort. It''s licenced for weddings and holds Napoleonic re-enactment weekends.

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The Red Arrows scribble across the sky and leave lipsticky smudges where they have kissed the clouds.

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If you take the woodland walk in Les Jardins de Marqueyssac you occasionally come across something of interest. Sometimes they were grotesque, and then some were rather beautiful....Err., these were rather grotesque. And would definitely put me off wandering around the place on my own after the gardens have closed for the night.

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If there is one thing we miss up here it's.............................Staffordshire Oatcakes. Scottish Oatcakes are some hard, dry cracker biscuit thing but Staffordshire Oatcakes oooooooohhhh! If you've never had them (and they aren't so widely known of even in England) then you are missing out. As long as they are fresh, and not gone hard or mouldy, roll them up with some cheddar cheese and ham and put them in the microwave for a minute or so to melt the cheese and ..........de-lish! You won't find a more satisfying or quicker snack. Of course there are shops dedicated to nothing but oatcakes and pikelets around Stoke on Trent and some will say there are all sorts of alternative fillings you can put in them too.

We request all visitors from the south to arrive with fresh Staffordshire Oatcakes, for in their absence we have to run through to the Highland Soap Factory cafe in Fort William for a Scotch Breakfast roll filled with bacon, haggis and runny fried egg.

If the love of your life isn't a Staffordshire Oatcake, Happy Valentine's!

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Even if I had the money, I wouldn't want a house this big

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