Captain Jean LeLourd was one of the more colorful founders of Massachusetts history, being a pirate of no national allegiance who sailed along the Atlantic coast looking for booty. Having found some, he decided to settle in a particularly fetid region of the state's coast, founding the town of Innsmouth in 1738, named for the inn he founded with his money at the mouth of the Miskatonic River. The building, although somewhat dilapidated, is still considered a historic landmark amongst the foul creatures that call this hamlet home, as is the roadside shrine he created to honor Dagon.

Captain LeLourd disappeared from historical records in 1754; some maintain that he died in the French and Indian War, while others insist that he moved to the sea, never to return, and still others are convinced that he went to live with his beloved Deep Ones, helping to sire the cursed bloodline that still enfeebles the people of Innsmouth.

The original digital art, Demonic Tutor (2019) by Zack Stella, no doubt depicts his landing on Massachusetts shores: i.imgur.com/YkZ2FiE.jpg

Tags:   Photoshopped Demonic Tutor Zack Stella 2019 digital art fantasy horror pirate demon boat swamp Miskatonic University Innsmouth Chtulhu Lovecraft

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My senior yearbook photo from 1922, as I was about to obtain my Bachelor's Degree at ol' Miskatonic. I would spend part of my first post-graduate degree year in a work-study program digging in the lost ruins of Mu, where we lost several members of the group to an otherworldly fungal infection. They returned with us, however, and got jobs in town with the postal service, while I began student teaching and coaching the football team.

Interestingly, this picture looks very similar to that of another graduate, Edward Alexander "Aleister" Crowley, who was studying at Cambridge in the 1890's, which you can see here: i.pinimg.com/originals/59/01/ae/5901aec3c8f597687a0c7b7b8...

Tags:   Photoshopped Aleister Crowley sepia 1890's pipe smoking Miskatonic Cambridge Cthulhu horror fantasy magic

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Digging through photos from my college days again, I came across this picture, which I hadn't seen in years. It, again, shows the Miskatonic football team (Go, 'Pods!), this time from 1918, right at the end of the Great War. While I did go to Miskatonic that year (I started my freshman year that year), and only knew a couple of these folks personally (I had to do a lot of research)... I am not in this photo! I never actually played football! What? Read on, dear reader:

Standing (L-R):
Professor George Grammell Angell (Professor of Archaeology and Various Mysteries) My mentor in many ways, Dr. Angell was a very secretive man, often hiding away in his office and in his lab, studying ancient tomes, obscene statuary, and vile, dead languages. When he did teach, class would often pause as he found himself in some sort of reverie... Died in 1924, rumored to have been pushed off a cliff by a mysterious sailor who was never found. His grand-nephew was by then a staff member as well, who is said to have embarked on a secretive expedition to Antarctica in 1931.
John Smith (Class of '19) Mr. Smith was the most normal person I ever met. Of average height and weight, he was a communications major. Never an outstanding footballer, he was not bad, either. He had a "C" average in all of his classes, and graduated in the middle of his class. It seems that he eventually married into a middle-class lifestyle, and had 2.4 children.
Adalger Schrade (Class of '19) The boy had a prosthetic neck, hidden by his enormous turtle-neck sweaters. Rumor was that he no longer had a true spinal cord nor cervical vertebrae, but some sort of electro-chemical construction built in a laboratory in his native Austria. I do not know how this affected his football skills, but I do know that his position is listed as "prone". No idea where this guy ended up.
Vespar (Class of '18) Vespar never really took to civilization well. Found in the Ozark Mountains as an adolescent, he agreed to go east with the promise of food. He found football to his liking, as it was fairly violent, and appreciated the women that would come to the games. He ofttimes would forget to dress, so they had to sew him into his clothing for modesty's sake. Last I heard, he was an increasingly incoherent traveling preacher during the 1930's, but his trail has since grown cold.
Angus Beauregard Clampett (Professor of Economic Meddling) Coach Clampett was from the wrong side of Tennessee, his family having supported Johnson in his successful bid for a Senate seat. He claimed to have fought as a Brigadier General during the War Between the States, but that would mean that he is either a) around 80 in this photo, b) a resolute liar, or c) immortal. Went on to a thriving career in Hollywood, at least into the 1950's.

Seated (L-R):
Charles Whittensonstein, Jr. (did not graduate) Whittensonstein came from an upper-class New York family who settled the area during the era of Bolivian colonization. The team quarterback, he was the apple of many a girl's eye (and a few gentlemen, too), until his unfortunate decapitation due to an accident in the earliest automated car wash in Massachusetts. The Medical School attempted to reattach the head - with some degree of success - but he remained dead. As such, he only played in a few more games before retiring to his family's plot in Manhattan.
Gabhar Fiáin (Class of '20) Sadly, despite the educated, liberal campus milieu he found himself in, racism was still a factor in Gabhar's life at school. Often mistreated for his Irish origins, he was usually relegated to the back of the class, and was often graded unfairly. He excelled at football, however, which mitigated some of his enforced ostracism, and earned him a few friends. Oh, and his father was a goat.
Charles "Chuck" Brown (Class of '18) Kicked in the head one too many times in the course of the game, Chuck was often found wandering about campus in a daze. Married a red-headed girl eventually, but suffered from Severe Depression (which was also his major in school), leading to a messy divorce, and spending his remaining nickels on a quack psychiatrist. Eventually joined some sort of agricultural cult.
Tyne Blücher (Class of '18) Blücher hailed from one of the oldest families in the region of the Miskatonic River; his mother's side immigrated from somewhere in central Romania, while his father's side seems to have evolved in the area over the course of the last 30 million years. A native of the nearby port town of Innsmouth, Blücher was a real "momma's boy", bringing his mother to each game. As she was a better player than he was, they occasionally switched clothing as he watched her play from the stands. Last I heard, mother and son are doing well as displays in a Route 66 roadside museum.

Floor (L-R):
Francis Buxton (Class of '18) I was able to learn little about Buxton, other than that he was an enthusiastic bicyclist, and eventually moved into a puddle in a street near Liverpool.
Amadeus Arkham (Class of '18 1/2) Certifiably Insane, at least according to his diploma, Arkham was from the founding family of the nearby Massachusetts town of Arkham. Participating in a mass suicide briefly in the 1930's, he went on to help create the Nielsen TV rating system, and then to work in the BBC programming department. Last seen eating bugs in his London apartment.
John "Beatnik Steampunk" LeMaitre (Class of '19) If you ever watched TV in the 1960's, you know that everyone has an evil twin - and this guy was mine. Created in a transporter accident, he majored in Divinity and Other Gambles while pursuing his loves of football and gooseberry jam. Upon graduation, he disappears from the public record, although his existence would explain anomalies in my later problems with taxes, the law, and certain personal issues. At least, that's my story...
Dionysus deSade (Class of '21) Young for the team, his skills on the gridiron quashed any compunctions the fans might have had. Occasionally biting his opponents (and once, his coach), he was amazingly fast, considering his shambling gait. Majoring in Political Instability, deSade went on to own his own car - which he promptly drove into a tree in 1923, after being crushed by a falling boulder in a rainstorm. Found by a wandering paleontologist, he ended up marrying the man's daughter and living the life that only a homonoid can.
? (unknown) I have no idea who this is. In fact, he wasn't in the photo when I first looked at it! No record of this person exists. Perhaps he was an enemy of Josef Stalin, perhaps he's the manifestation of an unhappy 17th century spectre, perhaps I need to take my medication...

Anyhow, enjoy the picture! Here's a similar photo (no doubt, from a parallel universe in which it depicts the University of Michigan Wolverine team from 1900) I found, that may prove of interest to some of you: quod.lib.umich.edu/b/bhl/x-bl001018/BL001018?lasttype=boo...

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UPDATE!
In light of the distastefulness of my last photo, I'm going back to a happy place, and updating my team photo from 1924 - still, probably, my favorite picture.
_______________

Starting in the autumn of 1915, I went to Miskatonic University (founded, 1690 CE), in darkly beautiful Arkham, Massachusetts. Beginning my quest to get my Bachelor’s Degree in 1918, I stayed around (including a year stuck in Egypt) to finally receive my Doctorate in 1928. As the school bylaws for faculty insisted that I either work the Bursar’s Office, join the janitorial staff, or coach football (being an abused Masters & Doctoral candidate and student teacher), I ended up coaching the Miskatonic Fightin’ Cephalopods from the 1922-23 season, until the 1927-28 season ended (coaching by mail, for the 1925 season). This photograph is of the second year I coached, and the team that I helped lead to the bottom of the season’s Poison Ivy League standings:

In case you're interested, here's the skinny on who's pictured here:

On the floor (L-R):
Abdul El Bofohed (Class of '24) Conceived on a dark and stormy night, Abdul was half Persian, half Irish, and half Estonian. A language major, the last I heard he was attempting to teach Trobriand Islanders to speak Kilivila, not realizing that they were not only fluent, but native speakers.
Klaus Levi-Straud (Class of '24) A Sociopathic Darwinist, Klaus came to believe that the only remaining hope of mankind was its extermination as a species, making way for something better. Lost somewhere in the Dakotas, c. 1934, making room for someone better, I'm sure.
Josef "Dookie" Shicklgruber (Class of '26) The son of an empty-headed food trough waterer, his mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries. Joined the losing side in WWII, dying near the end of the war. Thankfully.

Seated (L-R):
Gabriel Doyle. Although slated to graduate in 1925, he left school to find greener pastures. He found them, in Iowa, and turned to farming. Died of boredom in 1963.
Lord Danut Tepes (Class of '25) His uncle impregnated his mother as a wedding present, and Danut was the unfortunate result. A Political Science major, he returned home to his native Transportania after graduation, only to serve his nation as a human sacrifice to a fertility god.
John Doe (Class of '24) Convinced that hallucinogenic drugs were the key to spiritual awakening and planar travel, John Doe disappeared in the summer of 1929 to the rainforests of Peru in search of a particular mushroom he had heard of. Only his head returned - now a shrunken relic on the desk of the Dean of Antiquities.
Dr. Simon Abaddon, Dean of Inhumanities. Abaddon was well known for using Sadism as a motivating tool for both the football team and the teaching staff. Gradually over the years he retreated more and more to his office in the 9th sub-basement of Poe Hall, until (rumour is) he simply faded away. His body remains at large...
Ephraim Street (Class of '26) Born with the unfortunate twin afflictions of narcolepsy and chronic bedwetting, Street was last seen in 1944 in a San Francisco opium den, servicing hybrids in his sleep. Good football player, though!
Jiminy Smuts, of the Poughkeepsie Smuts. Did not graduate, due to an unfortunate experiment he conducted as a student of the Occult Arts. Gradually jellified, and tasted vaguely of raspberries, according to accounts from the era.
X (Class of '25) Incapable of writing his or her (gender unsure, although as a male-only school until 1931, it was assumed the former) own name, "X" graduated with a Communication "degree", and moved on to a career in Alaskan politics with some degree of success. Died of political machinations in 1972.

Standing (L-R):
Dr. Lester Smoots, Professor of Geographical Misunderstandings. Died in 1923 at the beginning of the football season, and again in 1927. As of 1953, he can be found stuffed and mounted in the school's Giger Library, or teaching on alternate Thursdays.
Frederick "Freddie" Morlock (Class of '26) Rumoured to have been sired in some sort of underground gas pocket, Freddie was infamous for never finding a helmet to fit him. After a scandal in which he was found to have been sleeping with the Dean of Comeuppance, he moved to the sewers of Paris as a tour guide/creature. Last seen terrorizing Basque phrenologists in 1951.
Michael Ellis (Class of '25) Michael was a fictional character and as such, a horrible footballer. Indeed, the only way he graduated was as a project for a freshman-level creative writing team. Still pops up occasionally as a background character, but has yet to develop any real backstory, nor, indeed, has he developed at all in any real way. Last seen in A Taste of Bronchitis (Serge Lionsmane, 1963, Harcourt Press).
Eleazar "Unholy" Foster (Class of '25) Upon graduation, became a professional phrenology bust. Found dead of natural causes and axe wounds, 1928, at his home in upstate New Hampshire.
Cordwainer Finger (Class of '24) An Astronomy/Astrology major, Finger was later hired, in 1932, to the staff at Miskatonic U. He died falling off the roof of the Student Union, complaining of "brain pains". Owned an early "tele-visor set", as I recall, but it only got Soviet documentaries or static - sometimes both!
Team Captain Eddie "Eadweard" Wolverton (Class of '25) A pseudo-Hindu cross-dresser, Eadweard became a political cartoonist, as I recall, working under Francisco Franco until Wolverton's death in 1959. Unfortunately for Eddie, most of his cartoons accidentally put Fascism in a poor light.
Philip Hapsburg IV, Lord of the Flies (Class of '29) Taking a notably long time to graduate, his giant, cleft tongue gave him problems in both speaking and eating - consequently, he was forced to do both intravenously. Would have been a good football player, had he ever figured out the rules, or had learned to properly tie his shoes. Died the day after his graduation, bleeding out after picking his nose and rupturing a blood vessel.
Dr. Hugo Strange (not those Stranges), Professor of Surgery, Anatomy, and Torture. Disappeared in 1931 while on an expedition to Antarctica, looking for the fabled land of Agartha. No evidence of his passing has been found, save for a note written in an unknown language, and stained with a disagreeably greenish fluid. Also, a cat lover.

Back Row (L-R):
Nyarlathotep "Lenny" Kanamit (Class of '26) A self-professed lagomorphophilic back seat driver, Lenny seems to have died at some point before 1938. He has been found buried throughout England, with most of the parts ending up at Highgate Cemetary, and with several bits still at large. He left behind two-and-a-half widows and more than a few protein stains. The collar was to keep him from biting his stitches.
Professor Asa "The Toad" Stonetree. Stonetree taught Minionry, Fuzzy Math, and Hen Teasing. An introvert, he was universally disliked, although I could never understand why. I never tried particularly hard to discover his later story, since I hated him so much. Probably burning in Hell, or being slowly digested in the maw of an Elder God. At least, I hope so..!
Asst. Professor John "Steampunk Beatnik" LeMaitre, Esq., Dept. of Archaeology and Various Mysteries. Yours truly. My first teaching position was here at Miskatonic University, teaching as Assistant Professor of Trivial Ideology and Opinionation, from 1923-1932. (I left to join a team working towards visiting the jungle planet of Venus, but the funding never appeared, and the Spanish Civil War intervened.) I coached football through the 1928 season, at which point I got my full PhD, and was no longer forced to do so. I did, however, go to several of the games afterwards as a fan, and a couple as a concerned citizen.
I'm not sure how I acquired the nickname, as there were neither Steampunks nor Beatniks during my tenure at the school, although I'm sure someone sacrificed a few of each at some later point...

Not Pictured:
Waldo Nipincher (Class of '25) Failed to make the football team for the 1924 season, primarily due (it is thought) to his crippling fear of sea creatures. After graduating, he lived with his mother in an Egyptian necropolis for a couple of years, before setting off to travel the world, looking for love. Sadly, he picked all the wrong places... Eventually, depression set in when he realized that he was the evil twin, and not his counterpart as he had been led to believe. Leapt off a pontoon boat in the Malagasy Triangle, never to be heard from again...
Carl Webstriker (Class of '27) Due to his advancing vampirism, Carl was unable to be photographed for this shot, although he did try out for the team. Might have made it, too, had it not been for the school's "You Gots Ta Be In the Yearbook" policy, enacted during their infamous "Year With No Yearbook", 1898. Carl went on to a career as a successful photographer of Creative Phenomena, despite his handicap. Presently living ( ? ) as a Moai in an Advanced Dungeons & Dragons campaign (1st Edition).

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the picture, "Go 'Pods!" And, in the interests of full disclosure, here's a 1920 shot of the Michigan Wolverines, no doubt some team from a parallel dimension: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/1920_Michigan...

Tags:   Photoshopped Miskatonic University football team Lovecraft mystery horror 1920 sepia Arkham, Massachusetts Miskatonic U. H.P. Lovecraft Cthulhu Old Ones fantasy University of Michigan Wolverines sports Fightin' Cephalopods

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Another photo from my days teaching at Miskatonic University, this is a yearbook (The Cephalopod) photo of the Dept. of Archaeology and Various Mysteries from 1926, my third year working there (if you include my year abroad). For the most part we got along pretty well, partially because at any given time several professors would be out on one assignment or another.

The faculty consisted of:

Seated (L-R):
Dr. Kelvis Merkin (PhD, DDS) Dr. Merkin was a hard taskmaster (despite being a junior staff member), occasionally flailing his faculty for transgressions such as cold coffee, not pushing in chairs,... etc. His field of expertise was the study of Constructed Languages, which had limited application in archaeology. He probably got his position through politics, or perhaps his connection to the Infernal Regions. At some point during WWII, he descended into the Nether Regions, never to return - as far as we know....
Dr. Cain Nanable (PhD) Dr. Nanable primarily taught the Archaeology of Mesoamerican Civilizations. He was a firm believer that the Olmec and Maya came from New Jersey, by way of the Turnpike. Supposedly, they emigrated due to the stringent tax laws of the region. Known as an expert in self abuse, Nanable left his post in 1951, falling down the campus Escher Stairwell. As far as I know, he's still falling, and his descendants traditionally leave sandwiches out for him to grab as he passes, although he is now a well-battered corpse.
Dr. Sir Agnes Smedley (PhD, GWaR, NttAWwT) Department head Smedley no longer actually taught, as he ascended into the Bureaucracy. This meant that we rarely actually saw him, except in dreams - which made getting a grant exceedingly difficult. Sir Smedley went onto a government position, becoming the Undersecretary of Bullshit under Truman, but the job was eliminated by Eisenhower - who earned the eternal enmity of Smedley after that. He now hunts the soul of Eisenhower in the Afterlife.
Professor Buster Britches (Mres) As you can tell from the photo, Professor Britches was a clown. Bigotry being what it is (and really was, in the 1920's), Britches was the only clown on staff, and never got his PhD. His cultural habits also tended to get in the way of his potential promotion, with behaviors such as hitting Sir Smedley with seltzer, or launching pies at faculty members during meetings. Eventually tiring of the incipient racism of the time, Britches followed the path that many of the clownfolk did, farming marshmallows in Saskatchewan, last I heard.
Mr. Reece Bram (MSt) Asst. Professor teaching Advanced Understanding through Digging, an essential class in the field. Proud of his middle initial, "N", he claimed that it proved his Romanov family ties somehow, and that this whole job was actually beneath him. Found by a Soviet firing squad in 1932, and put to rest.

Standing (L-R):

Dr. Paramorfomébis "Perry" Péos (PhD) taught Minutae. A Greek immigrant, he came to Miskatonic for unknown reasons, and by unknown means. Oddly, I never actually saw him outside the classroom or in staff meetings, and it is possible that he couldn't exist away from the school. No idea as to his eventually whereabouts - not even sure where he was at the time...
Sir Agnes Smedely (M"S") You may have noticed that Smedely shares an incredibly similar name to the department head, and the similarities don't end there. He was caught as a squatter on Smedley's property, and attempting to marry his wife (she didn't seem to mind as much as did Dr. Smedley, and claimed that they could have been twins, as far as she could tell). He would visit Smedley's parents on holiday, especially after they passed on. He now chases the spirit of Sir Dr. Smedley in the Hereafter, but from a computer - and is still alive after 126 years!
Dr. Pustoy Pridurok (DMV) specialized in Non-Human Archaeology. He was very busy, digging in ancient cities of Reptilian Overlords, Grey Landing Bases, and Pet Cemeteries. Found in 1952 to be a Soviet spy, he was accused of selling Mystical Secrets to the Russians, which they found totally useless. Uniquely executed by hanging, electrocution, and firing squad simultaneously.
Yuri Selka Not really a professor, he was more like the department mascot. An interesting note: despite the name and the ears, Selka was not a Vulcan - there is no such thing, of course. Departmental speculation was that he was, perhaps, in part marmoset, due to his lack of thumbs and the habit of sucking the sap from the trees in the area. Selka was later arrested for bigamy, having married several lab animals concurrently. Upon his release, he disappeared, perhaps to Maine.
Dr. Ichabod Martinesque (PhD) Dr. Martinesque was discovered in a small South Indian village, tied to a stake in the hopes that he would attract alligators (which never happened, as alligators are not native to India). Brought to New England, he ended up teaching ParaArchaeology, the study of "Digging without Digging". The class mostly involved sitting in class with one's eyes closed, and thinking about archaeology. Martinesque and his common law bride eventually had a whole litter of children, who ate their parents before scattering into the nearby woods.
John "Steampunk Beatnik" LeMaitre (MPs) Two years before getting my PhD, I was a student teacher, and pretty much everyone's lackey. Primarily teaching Trivial Ideology and Opinionation, I was occasionally asked to fill in for other professors as well, which further educated and confused me. My mind still isn't quite right, I'm afraid. You'll notice that I'm not wearing my reading glasses in this photo, which is why I'm wearing my shoes on the opposite feet.

Not Pictured:

Dr. Joseph Besser (PhD) Dr. Besser was not at the school long; he only worked there for sixteen classes before being replaced by Dr. "Curly" Joseph DeRita. He was a whiny man, as I recall, and while certainly disputed school policy at times, was easily knocked down to size by administrators and their secretaries. Later wrote for the local paper a column titled I Could'a Been, in which he whined about all the things he never did. Depressing...

Interestingly, this photo from The Similia of 1910, the yearbook from the Hahnemann Medical College and Hospital of Philadelphia looks suspiciously similar - perhaps evidence of a parallel universe?: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/Similia_-_the...

Tags:   Photoshopped Hahnemann Medical College and University The Similia 1910 sepia yearbook photo Miskatonic University Archaeology staff teachers 1926 devil clown Vulcan fantasy horror

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