Sometimes the stars align and a moment where you feel beautiful is captured.

This was the culmination of an amazing few days that far exceeded my expectations. The love and devotion that Peg showed was beyond compare. (Her skill at doing my hair wasn't far behind!) Her being at my side, with her smile lighting the room, is incredible in every way.

A few years ago I would have never thought a moment like this could be reality (and public!). But thanks to the love and understanding of my family and friends, these moments can be real. They enhance my passion and ability to advocate for others, particularly those less fortunate than I am, as we fight for equality, justice, and respect. Luckily, I get to have some amazing moments along the way.

Thanks to my mom for watching the kids and letting this happen! Thanks to Lisa Smith for the great photo!

Tags:   Keystone Gala glam transgender tg gender-fluid gown purple heels stairs love

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After the Keystone Gala come dancing. Wicked Jezebel was playing again this year and they put on a great show.

About half the crowd goes to change into something more appropriate for high tempo dancing. I decided to be part of that group.

Tags:   Keystone 16 dance leather skirt pink pumps glam rock tg transgender gender-fluid party

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(AKA - A Love Letter To My Wife)

Awards. Celebrities. Friends. Gala Dinner. Conquered Fear. Love.

What a deeply meaningful night. Warning – long post!
(Did I mention love?)

Before I describe the day, let’s start with some acknowledgements. Nothing would have worked out without the aid of a plan and some amazing friends that helped out in ways large and small, but were all so meaningful. Ali, Nic, Blake, Sarah and others, there is no way we would have made it through the night without you.

I talked about the preparation plan in an earlier post and I’m glad to say it worked. It was all about making sure my wife was as relaxed, comfortable, and ready as possible. Monday was a lovely day getting pedicures together followed by a nice lunch and a bit of shopping. That evening we made all the choices for our attire and jewelry to make sure we had everything we needed and to give us an extra day in case there were some last minute pick-ups necessary. My wife chose my green gown over my newly acquired purple one because it was ‘more sparkly.’

Tuesday was her day. I took care of the kids and had her get out of the house to go do whatever she wanted to relax and enjoy the day. She surprised me by coming home that evening with a new sparkly clutch purse for me. We saw it the previous day but she knew I wouldn’t have bought it on my own due the price, so she made it a gift. I’m pretty sure she had a good day and it was sweet of her to think of me.
The big wrinkle in our plans came Tuesday night when we found out that the kids had school on Wednesday. We just figured that Veteran’s Day was a day off. The big challenge was that our oldest needed to be picked up at 4 from school and my wife had a makeup appointment and I’d be in the middle of getting ready. Luckily, a friend agreed to help walk her home and drop her off.

Wednesday rolled around and the nerves really started to hit my wife but she soldiered on. When Ali showed up they departed for a late lunch, and some needed drinks, to begin their preparation. The parted ways to head to separate make-up appointments while I got ready with my youngest offering all sorts of helpful ‘tips’ along the way. She also thought I never put my make-up brushes down in the right place and they needed constant rearranging. Luckily I had the time to try and get things ‘right’ for the night.

Nic (thank you, thank you, thank you) showed up to watch our kids for the night and waited downstairs, along with Kara who was coming with us that night, for my oldest to get home. I got some help squeezing into my dress and finished getting ready (or so I thought) right about the time Ali showed got back to get changed. The finishing touch was the tiara. My wife let me wear the same tiara she wore to our wedding. Pretty special to say the least! At this point, we were just waiting for my wife to get back and we started to get nervous as the minutes kept ticking by and eventually passed the time that we were supposed to leave.

The minor upside to her being late is that I realized I had forgotten to do my nails and put my rings on. As she arrived to put her dress on, I was frantically trying to get the sticky tabs on for my fake nails. Luckily, we wrapped up at about the same time and were ready to go. Every time I wear fake nails I wonder if it’ll be the last. They drive me insane, I always seem to lose one or two, and they make going to the bathroom nearly impossible, but they look so good.

All that aside, I’ve really buried the main story for this part of the night: my wife looked flat-out incredible. It was amazing, she was stupefyingly stunning. Unbeknownst to her, the make-up artist specialized in pin-up looks and absolutely nailed it. It was the first time she had worn false eyelashes and everything else complemented her look perfectly. I was nearly dumbstruck, I couldn’t stop staring at her. Her anxiety was hitting a peak at this point, but everything coming together so well for her was a huge help. She smiled and it was magic. What a beautiful woman. I’m so lucky to call her mine. Her dress and jewelry complemented her look perfectly and we headed out; on target to be just a few minutes late.

We got downtown and found a parking ramp a bit of a walk from our gathering place and the venue. The event was on the campus of George Washington University and the four of us turned quite a few heads while walking down the streets in our formal wear. We me the rest of the SPARTA crew outside a Starbucks and weren’t even the last ones there. It was time for some hugs, pictures, and plenty of “You look amazing!” moments. Big thanks here to Blake for organizing everything and getting everyone together. I’d also like to thank Kelly and Diana for coming out to join and support the SPARTA team for the evening.

Once everyone was together we made the short walk over to the venue and gathered in the entry hall for drinks and red carpet arrival photos. The SPARTA team got another group shot and then hit the very pricey bar since we had quite a bit of time before the awards ceremony began. The red carpet continued to beckon and the line wasn’t too long, so many of us got some smaller group shots together.

As we got closer to the start time my narcissism said “Go get your own picture on the red carpet” and, of course, I listened. I got to the front of the line and stepped up for my shot when I was told to clear the area for a celebrity arrival. Kate Walsh, of many TV shows, but probably most famous for Gray’s Anatomy and Private Practice, did her quick turn on the carpet. Several folks jumped in from the other side and grabbed pictures with her as I texted my wife to get out there, but before she left I was able to grab my picture with her. We got a pretty good picture, but I have two regrets. First, there were two cameras and we picked different cameras to look at. Second, I forgot to suck in my stomach, a cardinal sin.

After my brush with celebrity the show was about to start and we all flooded into the auditorium and found our seats. To say the least, the awards ceremony was a bit disjointed and awkward. The Vetty was a large and thick metal disc on a ribbon. When the first winner was leaving the podium his Vetty snapped off and hit the floor with a resounding thunk. Next up was SPARTA’s category and, while we were hopeful, I don’t think many people were expecting to win. However, our name was called! Sue and Blake headed up to receive the award.

Sue spent the first half of her speech gushing over Kate Walsh sitting right in front of her in the first row, while Blake stood beaming next to her. She wrapped it up with some thoughts and some thanks before turning it over to Blake. Blake wrapped things up by talking about his career breaking gender barriers and the fact that he’ll do it again soon as the ban on transgender soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines becomes a thing of the past. So proud. So excited. So much to look forward to.

The rest of the show dragged on as we waited to party with a 40’s themed dinner and swing dancing. No one was sure where dinner was and we were ushered out of the building and told to follow the crowd across the street. To our surprise dinner was outside. In November. In DC. At 9PM. Did they inform anyone of this beforehand? No. Everyone was in their formalwear, with very few jackets and we were outside. Also, the tables were all on cobblestones and the ‘dance areas’ were the grassy patches in-between the tables. Not a good situation with the majority of the attendees in heels. There wasn’t a 40’s theme. There wasn’t a band. The food was OK, but not terribly special. The highlights was listening to the women who put caramel sauce on their potatoes thinking it was gravy. Because of all this the party petered out awfully quickly.

This was the inaugural edition of the Vetty’s so some challenges were expected, but nothing like this. They dramatically oversold the event. The auditorium was far less than half full. There were tons of celebrities and politicians advertised as participants, but only two showed up as presenters. The program was poorly scripted. Nominated organizations had little or nothing said about them or their mission. Videos were played for some and not for others. There were quite a few logistical challenges. The price was pretty darn high for what was offered. It has great potential for future years, but I sincerely hope they have someone good doing their lessons learned.

My little group wandered away from the dinner a bit after ten but made sure that Ali got her picture with McBeardy, one of the MCs. We stopped on the way back for two things: pictures with a hippo statue (I have no idea why it was there) and Starbucks again for Kara and Ali while I took a picture with a burrito truck because why not? When we finally got home my wife didn’t want to take her make-up off and was still riding pretty high about her look for good reason! I was so proud of how she handled herself for the night.

I think I covered my list of awards, celebrities, friends, gala dinners, and somewhat covered conquered fear. But last, and most important, is love. It was no sure thing that this event would happen for my wife and me. She has done so much for me and come so far, but this was a huge deal for us. Just dealing with me being trans is hard. Going out together to ‘safe’ spaces has only happened a few times and is always worrisome. But this… this was on a completely different level. We were going to a very public place with the possibility of running into people we know. I would be dressed to the nines. It was a major challenge for her. But love. Love.

When it was brought up for the first time I didn’t think there was a chance we would go. Maybe me, but not us. We talked, a lot, and agreed to consider it. When I picked out and ordered a dress for her the odds went up but weren’t great. When the dress arrived and fit, I still put it at 50/50 because way too many things could still come up or the worry and anxiety could still be too much to deal with. We followed the plan to prep and relax and still I worried that it could go wrong at the last moment for just about any reason. But it didn’t. She was a superstar and handled herself with grace and beauty throughout. Even when she was late getting back from her makeup appointment I wondered if something was wrong, but it wasn’t. She showed me her love, her dedication, and her willingness to adapt for me. Because she loved me.
She held my hand in public. We talked. We took selfies. She smiled. She may even have had a pretty good time. Who knows, it may even happen again someday. Because I love her and I’m so proud of her. She’s done amazing things for so many people, the organization and for me.

I’m so lucky. So, yeah… love.

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Could I describe why she did what she did this evening in any other way? No, I really couldn't. These are our arrival photos, first as we met our group outside and then on the red carpet at the venue. I could not ask for a more amazing woman at my side.

So happy. So Lucky. Gonna work like hell to keep it that way!

Tags:   tiara gown White tie transgender tg gender-fluid wife married love gala red carpet date night amazing true love

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At last the Keystone Gala was upon us. I spent an extra hour or so getting ready to make sure everything was just right, or at least as right as I could make it. Most of that extra time was dedicated to putting on false nails. They will definitely only be used for the most special of occasions!

I was wonderfully excited to get this dress on. I tried it on at home and my wife had to help me get the side zipped so I knew it was going to be a two person job. As expected, Roberta had to help me get the dress zipped and it was quite a battle, but we won! What I hadn't seen up 'til know was the dress combined with everything else. I felt like it was well worth what I spent on it! (I'll need to take it to more events!) Compared to the formal attire I more often wear, this was just amazing. Everything seemed to come together perfectly and the evening was incredible.

Coming up next will be quite a few pictures with friends but it won't tell half the story of the night. So many good memories to look back upon and only a small fraction of them caught on camera.

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