A variation of a photo I posted some time ago capturing me spending time as a girl on a summer day, though being Scotland the Sun is hidden by an overcast sky.
This was a period when I was struggling within myself about being transsexual. My desire to be a female was all consuming yet I knew it would destroy me if I went there as I would lose all that I hold precious in my life, my wife whom I adore and my family and my work. I concluded the gain was not worth the loss and embarked upon being an occasional transvestite.
I have now settled into this path and have no regrets about the choices I made. In fact the intensity and emotions I experienced at the time of this photo (July 2004) have receded and I'm relieved and grateful as it was taking over my life. I think it became so intense as I had suppressed and refused to accept my inner desire to be a woman. I was age 45 in July 2004 and had only recently started to cross-dress as a girl, I now believe it was that genie out of the bottle period with it's euphoria and emotional highs and lows that took me over. It was all kind happening in one go and I had to get through it.
I would like to be a woman but I am now very happy to be a transvestite and live as a man who dresses up as a woman. It satisfies my own needs and dreams and I can still enjoy the life I have no wish to lose while occasionally freeing my inner spirit.
Tags: transvestite crossdress t-girl transgender transsexual transexual t-gurl gurl drag transvestism transsexualism female impersonator female illusion male to female female impersonation tranny trannie trans queen glbt m2f m to f crossdressing crossdresser gender gay lesbian effeminate boy to girl acting performance wig makeup dressing up as a woman
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As a transvestite one of my deep ambitions, indeed life dreams, is to be able to look like a woman. It is easy to do this by making use of the high glamour look of lots of makeup, hair, dresses, etc. but real women look female without all of this. I adore getting glammed up and yet deep down I just wish I was female naturally and on occasion I find myself attempting to fulfil that wish. I try for an understated female look which paradoxically requires a hell of a lot of makeup as I have the male beard shadow and bumpier skin from facial shaving. Oh how I wish I looked female! This photo is tinged with a hint of sadness as I know I'll never achieve my dream but I also do actually enjoy trying to get the look and gain reward from the effort as it gives me a joyous warm connection toward that dream.
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Hello
Influenced by Kay, another transvestite here in the UK with an amazing body and enviable smooth feminine looking skin I was emboldened to post this picture though I'm an amateur compared to her.
I think it's fair to say I love dressing up as a woman rather a lot. In fact sometimes I really wish I was a woman. I find myself desperate to be female and no longer be male. I want my male self to be banished and never return. I find myself getting right into being a woman and delude myself I am at last female.
This is emotionally a powerful experience and often when I return to being a man once more the whole experience can leave me drained and fearful. So powerful do I desire to switch to being female I can almost weep with the joy of it when I appear as as a woman. I love how my emotions feel so free when I dress up as a woman and I definitely feel at home pretending I am one.
But, it is all illusion, I am a transvestite, a man dressing up in women's lingerie, female fashions and painting myself in layers of makeup whilst wearing a wig. I am not a woman, I'm a man. This indulgence dies give me a lot of joy and I have a rather fun time with it all yet it does affect me in the emotionally way I described.
I do enjoy my male life and I believe it is the fact I am really a man that adds to the experience of cross-dressing and acting as a female. I do though dream of being able to pass as a female, I would love to be accomplished enough to look and act female in a real way. I never will achieve this dream as I don't look like a woman when I cross-dress and my acting efforts are not great. Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely time attempting my female portrayal but I know realistically I look like a man in a dress. I'm pretty rubbish at being a transvestite. I think it is a goal I enjoy pursuing but will never be very good at looking the part.
This is not an attempt to generate complimentary replies, I assure you I am being completely realistic with myself. I know how much I love cross-dressing, have a dream, I always have a lot of fun and reward but I also have doubts, fears and know I do not look convincing as a woman, I know my limitations.
I think this picture shows how delusional I can be as I recall I wanted to look female and sexy and though I'm not homosexual I did want to look female enough that men desire me as a woman. It is a display of pure vanity, ego and the element of fun and excitement that being a transvestite provides. The bottom line, pathetic as this image is, being I had a wonderful exciting time by posing for this image and imagining in my head I was a woman. For a few hours I had switched gender in my head and that was truly a real reward and a comfortable place to be both mentally sand physically.
Helene x
Tags: transvestite crossdress t-girl transgender transsexual transexual t-gurl gurl drag transvestism transsexualism female impersonator female illusion male to female female impersonation tranny trannie trans queen glbt m2f m to f crossdressing crossdresser gender gay lesbian effeminate boy to girl acting performance wig makeup dressing up as a woman
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Hello
One of the great things about dressing up as a woman is the opportunity to wear fabulous clothes such as dresses, skirts and high heel shoes. I really love female clothing and adore he chance to cross-dress when it arises. I loved this coat and felt amazing wearing it.
Helene x
Tags: transvestite crossdress t-girl transgender transsexual transexual t-gurl gurl drag transvestism transsexualism female impersonator female illusion male to female female impersonation tranny trannie trans queen glbt m2f m to f crossdressing crossdresser gender gay lesbian effeminate boy to girl acting performance wig makeup dressing up as a woman
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One of my rare outdoor shots. It is not often I have the courage to venture into the outside world dressed up as a woman but this photo captures one such moment. As I am very nervous about such outings and not having much confidence in my ability to pass as a woman I did not get very far on this afternoon.
It was very chilly so I had chosen boots and a woolen sweater but could still feel the cold winter air swirling around my legs as I could not resist wearing a skirt. I rather enjoyed the sensation if I'm honest. I adored being outside wearing makeup and a wig and loved the light touch of the longer hair blowing gently around my face in the cold winter breeze.
The light was failing by this point in the late afternoon so the picture was taken using camera flash which unfortunately is being reflected by the leather jacket I'm wearing. I was also going through a period of fake tan makeup, false eye lashes and glossy lipstick and painted nails. It was all rather delightful but I think I've now managed to move on from this somewhat 'overdone' look I was into that day.
Helene x
Tags: transvestite crossdress t-girl transgender transsexual transexual intersex third sex gender trannie tranny queen gurl t-gurl crossdresser female illusion female impersonator male to female boy to girl gender swap makeup wig dressing up illusion acting performance
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