Mushin’ Around: Thy name is Mercutio

Another thing you might not know about mushrooms is that they get bored easily and, when they think no one is watching, they tend to put on plays for each other. Maurice was obsessed with two ideas-the first was that, no matter what, he just had to act. He was meant for the stage, even if it was an unfinished one with pieces of jutting out bark all around. Every worry in the world vanished when Maurice said his lines. The second idea Maurice had was that Shakespeare wrote from the heart and was not overrated.

Everyone warned him against acting in a Shakespeare play. Mushrooms are more easily harmed than humans, they cautioned, and even the humans around here don’t have health care. But Maurice didn’t listen and when he heard that casting call, he surely answered. This is the story of how Maurice became Mercutio. At first, he was a little disappointed he could not play the part of Romeo but then he realized he was in love with Tyrone, who played the part of Tybalt. Not every mushroom is as accepting of gay romance when it isn’t in a famous play, alas, and it was totally worth the closeness to his secret love even if it meant a death. The little sword stick was supposed to be just a prop, a forest remnant from the bottom of a hiking shoe. And yet, when Tybalt drew it forward, it was more than just a scratch from a kitty. Instead, it was an everlasting wound straight into his center. It was a goodbye from a lover.

This is not just the story of Maurice, the melodramatic mushroom. This is the story of how we sacrifice everything for love and how plays somehow teach us to be more like ourselves.


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It’s time you learned something about mushrooms that even the most hardcore mycologist doesn’t know and that is this…mushrooms can be very sensitive. Silvia, in particular, was susceptible to the taunts of other mushrooms. They claimed she smelled so bad as if she purposefully grew next to horse manure. They said she looked as hard and ridged as a barn roof that was a hundred years old. They said that she was as wrinkly as an old maid who never knew love. And Silvia, well, you can imagine how hurt her feelings were and how she had no choice to turn herself inside out. That Silvia became one mighty mushroom ear and so all of those insults hurled at her bounced right back. Words began clinging to the edges of all the trees and all of the lichen and fungi surrounding them. The entire forest was in turmoil. Every mushroom saw itself for what it had become and was devastated.

Be kinder.

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Maybe, if you’re a young adolescent, you start to favor the shroom next door, who seems to live and grow so effortlessly in the same light and yet does it with a certain suggestion of ease you can’t relate to. When the light bathes her, you can see between each ridge and it starts to feel so intimate you start to even blush. How long must you keep your crush a secret? Because, sometimes when the moon comes out, you feel yourself getting tingly and you think you’re just going to go crazy if you don’t get closer to her to smell that Earthy scent you’d like to come home to every day instead of your own lowly branch, so dark and lonely in comparison.

Stay tuned for the next episode when a Mushroom, so filled with longing, turns into a werewolf.

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Mushin’ around is a prime time drama about shrooms that are a little extra in a forest that always has something exhilarating happening just on top of the mossy surfaces. In it’s infancy, the show was meant to be a docudramedy appealing to the scientific community who felt they had a sense of humor. Hard core mycologists and forest fanatics were drawn to the crazy antics of these shrooms and their unique personalities. The scientific community’s Skype was sizzling with excitement, especially when they were waiting for their solutions and procrastinating on putting in another order to replace broken test tubes. Microscopes were also having a magnificent time! Could this be a genre bending nonfiction dramedy? Could this be an anti capitalistic statement with recommendations to prevent further climate change? Could this actually be a reality show set in a forest? Either way, it’s easy to understand the almost alarming long standing baited breath. And so, what was supposed to be a one off show became more of a running thing, with a whole cast of memorable characters and their daily joys and struggles because that’s what happens when the world demands something (I guess?).

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I know it feels like you’re a small shroom in a huge forest.
The bark is rough, the air is chilled.
The leaves sure know how to taunt you as they blow around.
But, listen, someday you’re going to break free.
First, you’ll fall on your face.
But then, maybe there will be hope for you yet!
Start out and roll as if you’re escaping a great fire.
Roll on down that hill of loose twigs.
Let the creek water carry you.
Feel the rush of the small waves against your textures
So soothing and freeing.
The dirt of you dissolves to make room
For all kinds of new messy adventures!
You never knew being alive could feel this good!

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