© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved

Some kind of landscape photography I think. Captured in April 2023 at Troon South Beach, Scotland.

There are 3 vital things that someone with severe CPTSD needs in order to function and heal.

1/ Consistency, predictability and routine.
2/ A place of safety and comfort
3/ Patience and compassion

Without these my trauma response is activated. I can't help that, it is physiological.
These needs have not been fully met for the past 2 years or so. Is it any wonder my symptoms have worsened? Now I am blamed for not healing fast enough. 25 years of abuse and PTSD cannot be fixed with 1 year of therapy and just one year of healing afterwards, least of all when those needs are not fully met. I didn't stand a chance.

Last night a friend from the past messaged me at a critical time. They chatted with me online for some 2 hours or more. They actually made me cry, smile and even laugh. It saved The Samaritans a call and that friend may have saved my life. The timing was impeccable.

The biggest threat to me is not having the 3 vital things. Without those I will spiral into hell. There is no chance I can heal without them. I just don't know where I can get them now. I can't do this alone and I will need actual in-person physical help as well. At my worst I am unable to even cook a meal or even answer the door. At times I could not even leave the house into the garden.

At my best there are little nuggets of the old 'Leanne' there. I just can't find her by myself. I am too ill to do it all alone now.

For the friend that contacted me last night. I am in their debt.

I am trying to post to Flickr and enjoy your photography to maintain routine. It has helped to hold me together for a long time. I am struggling to comment on other people's work or find 'happy' photographs to share. I hope I can get back there though.

In the meantime. Thank you for your understanding and caring. However remote, it does help. It does help.

Tags:   Leanne Boulton urban street photography urban landscape landscape photography landscape seaside seafront town promenade bench storytelling documentary narrative journal empty remains waste litter plastic waste remnants building wall grass sand drifting drifting sand tone detail depth natural light outdoors sunlight shadow sunset evening scene life humanity society lifestyle public space Canon Canon 5D Mk III 70mm EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM colour golden hour golden Troon South Beach Ayrshire South Ayrshire Scotland UK United Kingdom Great Britain skyline

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© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved

Urban architecture from East Kilbride, Scotland.

Previously unpublished shot from April 2021.

When you have climbed so many ladders there are only snakes left to take you to the bottom.

I am grateful for all of your kindness and support on my photo yesterday. More than you can know. To hear that you care and that you believe I have a talent is deeply heart warming. I am, however, just so desperately tired of suffering.

Tags:   Leanne Boulton urban staircase grim Scotland landscape urban landscape fragment photography concrete jungle stairs stairway steps ramp lines composition blue yellow concrete rust grime gritty melancholy railings handrail mobility pedestrian tone detail depth natural light outdoors outside town centre shopping centre city scene human life humanity society culture lifestyle people Canon Canon 5D Mk III 24mm EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM colour East Kilbride South Lanarkshire UK United Kingdom Great Britain

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© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved

Street photography from Glasgow, Scotland.

Previously unpublished shot from a cold and wet December in 2017.

An update from Flickr on the issue of my upload not getting viewed by most of you is that they can do nothing to help me because the fault is with your feed. They say "The best bet is for users who aren't seeing all content in their feeds to reach out directly to Support." though I have no idea how you can know that you are not seeing images from the people you follow. They are aware of the glitchy nature of the new content feed and are working on it. Thank you all for taking the time to help me get to the bottom of the problem.

Tags:   Leanne Boulton people streetphoto Scotland Buchanan Galleries urban landscape street candid street photography candid street photography candid photography street life urban landscape silhouette letterbox widescreen format crop framing wet miserable weather raining man woman walking headphones crossing road travel transport bus traffic headlights dark underpass bridge tone detail depth natural light outdoors city scene human life living humanity society culture lifestyle Canon Canon 5D Mk III 70mm EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM colour Glasgow UK

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© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved

Street and urban landscape photography from Barnsley, England.

Previously unpublished shot captured in November 2018.
The Barnsley Interchange is the combined bus and train station for this South Yorkshire market town. This is the old entrance on Midland Street and no longer exists since a massive upgrade and facelift. Enjoy!

Tags:   Leanne Boulton people streetphoto England urban landscape street candid street photography urban landscape candid photography candid street photography social landscape street life town centre market town man woman smoke smoker smoking cigarette beanie autumn cold Northern England interchange bus station train station public transport hub travel transport bubble architecture glass building steel travelling tone detail depth natural light outdoors outside city town scene human life living humanity society culture lifestyle Canon Canon 5D Mk III 35mm EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM black white black&white b&w mono black and white monochrome Barnsley UK South Yorkshire Yorkshire United Kingdom Barnsley Interchange

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© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved

Street photography from Troon, Scotland.

We all make mistakes right? Wow... for the past year I have been fighting a battle of C: drive space. Deleting things just to update drivers and deleting things just to be able to edit photographs. Guess what I forgot with all of the re-edits that I did? I forgot my Lightroom catalogue hygiene. I was adding all of those old folders of shots into the same catalogue and it was eating my SSD space ravenously!
I backed-up and moved all of the old catalogue and previews and started a new catalogue. I found 105Gb of space on my C: drive! I always started a new catalogue for each calendar year but completely forgot about that this past three years or so. Lesson re-learned.

Wishing you all a fantastic weekend of photography my Flickr friends. Stay safe and keep the shutters clicking!

Tags:   Leanne Boulton people streetphoto Scotland urban street candid street photography candid street photography candid photography street life social landscape woman girl working sweep sweeping sand kiosk seaside beach toilets building widescreen cinematic crop menu store shop snacks ice cream promenade tone detail depth natural light outdoors outside scene town human life living humanity society culture lifestyle Canon Canon 5D Mk III 24mm wide angle EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM black white black&white b&w mono black and white monochrome Troon Ayrshire UK United Kingdom spring

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