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A sunset from April, with my 90th 'Stranger Portrait' subject taking a sunset photograph for herself next to her kayak.

I am sorry for being absent for a few days here on Flickr.

I was rushed into hospital on Friday with a suspected heart attack. I didn't suspect one myself because the symptoms, although almost entirely the same as a heart attack, are something that I have experienced 3 times before.

I was discharged yesterday after a clear echo cardiogram with the diagnosis of Recurrent Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. This is my 4th attack with my first being at the age of just 35.

Takotsubo Syndrome (also known as Stress Cardiomyopathy or Broken Heart Syndrome) has about the same fatality rate as a heart attack because it does cause an injury to the heart, although the mechanism is quite different. It is little understood but is caused by profound grief, emotional stress or physical stress that releases a surge of stress hormones that cause the left ventricle of the heart to swell and change shape and lose it's ability to work effectively.

All of my attacks have been preceded by profound grief and loss. Those of you following my recent tales will know that I have just been ditched by my partner of 20 years and I am facing homelessness, the loss of everything and will have to start my life from scratch, both materially and financially, at an age where I should be looking forward to winding my life down.

I now have to deal with all of this while trying to allow my heart to heal from the physical damage, knowing that there will never be a full 100% recovery and that there is no current treatment plan that can prevent a future attack.

I hate being a fringe medical case.

I am sad to say that while terrified, I almost wanted this attack to take me away from this cruel and painful world.

I am emotionally spent. I am mentally spent. I am physically spent.

I share this because I wear my heart on my sleeve, I always have. Such a shame that it keeps getting broken. Actually broken.

Thank you all in advance for any kind and warm wishes. I will get around to thanking you properly and catching up with your beautiful photography in time. I have to take it a little easy for a while though. It can take up to 2 months for the heart to 'recover' from this. I know all too well how it can cause a great deal of fatigue for a while.

Take care my Flickr friends. Be nice to one another in this crazy world.

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Seafront photography from Barassie Beach, Scotland.

Captured just a short while before my upload yesterday titled 'The Tide is High' just points out that I was in fact lying with the title. The tide was actually half-way in, or half-way out depending on your point of view. A wide angle shot showing the vast expanse of beautifully rippled sand here on Barassie Beach, Troon, South Ayrshire.

You can see a lone distant figure walking closer to the dry sand line. The tide goes out quite a distance here and when the tide is in you can wade out for a long way and still be no more than waist deep. Catching strong winds and being relatively shallow, this beach has become a hot spot for kiteboarding and windsurfing. A new water sports centre is planned to be built on the seafront soon and while that will be great, I will have to move further north along the shore for those quieter moments.

For context, that is the town of Troon directly ahead and the harbour stretches out beyond right of frame. When I say that I live just a mile from the seafront now, that is only at high tide. You can probably add at least another half a mile on for low tide. It certainly beats living in a commuter town for Glasgow. I do sometimes miss the hustle and bustle but the peacefulness out here is hard to beat.

Enjoy!

Tags:   Leanne Boulton beach seaside sand bwphoto seafront landscape photography landscape photography ripples texture lead in lines lines composition expanse wide tide tidal sea water waves distant figure houses harbour town sky clouds spring springtime evening sunset sunlight shadow contrast space vastness open beauty beautiful horizon pattern beachscape tone detail depth natural light outdoors outside scenic scenery human life lifestyle habitat natural people Canon Canon 5D Mk III 24mm wide angle EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM black white black&white b&w mono black and white monochromatic Barassie Beach Troon Barassie Ayrshire Scotland UK

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Sunset photography on Barassie Beach, Scotland.

Some kayakers were wrapping up their evening paddle as the sun was setting over the Isle of Arran. The beautiful wooden paddle was handcrafted in Ardnamurchan as I am told by Lorna, my latest '100 Strangers' portrait uploaded a few days ago. She posed with the paddle for me as the water droplets glistened in this remaining sunlight.

Framing the clouds in the top right reminded me of those classic Caribbean photographs of a canoe on a white beach with palm tree fronds framing the corner of the shot. Some hardy varieties of palm tree are grown in some gardens of the Ayrshire coast but there are definitely none on the waterfront itself. The tide was half-way in here but that didn't make for such a compelling title.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend of photography my Flickr friends.

Enjoy!

*** Thank you each and everyone for your wonderful comments and favourites, and for your congratulations on my Explore with this shot. I am grateful to you all. ***

Tags:   Leanne Boulton sunset beach ocean kayak

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© Leanne Boulton, All Rights Reserved

Beachscape shot from Barassie Beach, Troon, Scotland.

On the first day of 2024 my first shot in 8 months.

The beach was actually incredibly busy with people taking a New Years Day dip in the single figure temperature waters. I was not well enough to get close enough to anyone to take a reasonable photograph but found this piece of driftwood instead. The largest piece of driftwood I have seen on the beach in the past year thanks to the recent batch of Atlantic storms.

Suffering from PTSD you have a smaller 'green zone' or ability to cope with anything outside of a very narrow 'normal', Sometimes that green zone is miniscule and at other times you can cope more normally. I managed a short walk on the beach for about ten minutes before I had to leave. Given that I have barely left the house for a couple of weeks, this was a big achievement.

Trauma is crippling. It steals your life. I hope that it is not entirely insurmountable and I am taking the baby steps needed to reclaim my life.

The first photograph in 8 months is a big step in getting reacquainted with my camera. Thank you all for your support and understanding.

Tags:   Leanne Boulton landscape driftwood beach bwphoto beachscape seascape landscape photography photography real seaside sand deadwood shells sea water distant island harbour wood branch seaweed tree life and death struggle trauma recovery PTSD mental health tone detail depth of field bokeh natural light outdoors outside scene life world earth waves journey composition decay entropy moody atmosphere atmospheric winter January New Year New Year's Day Canon Canon 5D Mk III 24mm wide angle EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM black white black&white b&w mono black and white monochrome Barassie Barassie Beach Troon Ayrshire South Ayrshire Scotland UK weathered

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The tide retreats into the Firth of Clyde between Barassie Beach and the Isle of Arran.

Captured in May 2022, it's hard to believe that I have been fortunate enough to have moved to this beautiful part of the world just a year ago.

Many beautiful sunsets have been seen from this coastline since though it may be a while until I see another one as I heal with my fractured foot. Swelling and pain have increased somewhat in the past week and my foot now looks like a paint-by-numbers!

I hope you enjoy a moment of reflection in this beautiful view. wishing you all a wonderful weekend of photography ahead. Stay safe and keep the shutters clicking. Enjoy!

Tags:   Leanne Boulton landscape reflection beautiful beach landscape photography photography seascape mountains island sea water ripples tide tidal harbour sky clouds weather beauty sunset crepuscular rays sunlight sunshine shade shadow silhouette sand seaside handheld tone detail depth natural light outdoors outside scenic scene life living lifestyle Canon Canon 5D Mk III 24mm EF 24-70mm f/2.8L II USM wide angle black white black&white b&w mono black and white monochrome monochromatic bwphoto achromatic space calm peace Barassie Beach Troon Ayrshire Scotland Barassie South Ayrshire UK United Kingdom

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